How many close friends do you have? Do you see your friends on a regular basis, and how often is that?
I’ve seen a lot in the news and memes lately about friendship –
the WSJ just had a story about “what sets women’s friendships apart and keeps them strong” [gift link]
there have been soooo many stories about how men don’t have friends (PBS, NYT [gift link], Guardian)
my friends and I are constantly sending each other memes about about how difficult it is to schedule nights out… a good friend just sent a FB reel that started “by the time you’re in your 40s, you should have about 2 friends left, who you never have time to see and just send a lot of TikToks.” (I’m assuming I should be flattered that I’m one of the 2 friends?)
In the past, we’ve discussed friendship tiers (close friend vs. acquaintance), how to make friends as you get older, how to make a friend group, how to choose your friends, friendships and politics, and 10 ways to make time for friends if you work a lot.
For my $.02 – I probably have fewer non-family friends at this moment in my life than I have at almost any other moment. It’s hard to schedule get-togethers with the friends who live close, it’s hard to schedule calls with friends who live far. My few friend groups and I have started just having repeating calendar events every 8 weeks — same place, same time — and if it’s we need to change it then we do, but for the most part it’s great just having something booked to schedule around. I’m ok with it as a “season” of life — and assume at some point I’ll start having more time for friends, and that I’ll either have to shore up old friendships or make new friends.
In the meantime, I’m definitely a pebbler with my friends — the basic idea is that by sending news stories, memes, and small tidbits to friends it’s like penguins who leave small pebbles at the feet of their loved ones. (Here’s a Today.com story explaining it better.) I’ve used this technique with mentors over the years to stay on their radar, albeit with more serious news articles, but I have found it a nice, easy way to remind people you exist, you’re thinking of them, you have bonds… I feel like it’s superior to just sending simple “happy birthday!” texts or the like, at least for me.
Readers, how about you — how many close friends do you have? Do you see your friends on a regular basis, and how often is that?
Stock photo via Stencil.
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